Mom-ME Circle

A Mother's Empowered Community

7 time habit hacks for moms

We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.

ROALD DAHL, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

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Time inevitably makes me think of change, aging, and how I want my future to be different from my past and present. My daughter, Grace, just started 1st grade and my 2 year old is talking in full sentences. How did this happen so quickly?! 

Today I am going to talk about how to use time to create the life of your dreams using habit hacks.

The human brain and body are designed to live IN time. So rather than fight against Mother Nature let's work with her. Below are 7 TIME habit hacks that will gain you a clear and sharp mind, dynamic relationships, and intention inspired actions.

1. Link your desired habit to an already existing habit (pick a trigger.)

For example, you want to keep a tidy kitchen. This tip encourages you to link a habit you already have that takes place in the kitchen… making tea with your new desired habit. So, your impulse to boil some water would be the trigger for tidying. For the 5 minutes it takes to heat your tea water you would be sweeping your floor or washing dishes, or emptying the dishwasher.

2. Batch your habits

For example, you want to take your medication every day. Batching this habit with giving your kids their vitamins, and your dog a treat will help you remember to do all three. (Just make sure you don’t accidentally give your dog a kid vitamin by mistake!)

3. Set aside time to worry 

For example, you want to create a habit of getting more sleep. While the intention is valid and you are going to bed early you just can’t seem to turn your mind off. (I know lots of moms who struggle with this.) Several hours before bed you will set aside some time to worry, plan, strategize... Creating this habit will allow you to relax in the future. When your mind tells you that it can’t relax right now because it has to ______________ (worry, ruminate, remember, think about…) you can remind it that you have set aside a designated TIME to do this and NOW is not that time.

4. Schedule your habits rather than set goals. In other words, put it on the calendar.

For example, you want to workout 5 days a week. If this were just goal you might join a gym and expect that that will get you to work out. But if you are anything like me, that’s not enough. You need to put your habit on the calendar so it is more likely to get done. (Go, do this right now, I’ll be here when you get back.)

5. Ride the wave of inspiration when it hits you.

For example, you want to write on a weekly blog. This habit encourages your to act upon the energy of your inspiration NOW (and rid it to the end of its course.) When you do, you’ll find that you can create more meaningful posts in less time because you are being internally/divinely guided. When you make a habit of “following your bliss” time begins to stand still. Acting upon your inspiration will also enhance your ability to relate to your kids because this is how they live every day.

6. Use the Kaizen method to make incremental improvements- daily or weekly.

For example, you want to take a family vacation for the Winter Holiday. The Kaizen method teaches you to be very, VERY specific. So, rather than say “I want to take a vacation with my family.” Say, “I want to go to Idaho to visit my in laws with my husband and two kids on December 16th. Be specific about dates and numbers, and give yourself a deadline so you can work backwards. The next Kaizen step is to break it down into big steps first. In my example, that might mean I need to decide how we are going to get to Idaho, what we want to do when we get there, and who do I need talk to about our trip (Dog sitter, neighbors, babysitter…) And the last Kaizen step is to use baby steps. In my example that would mean putting todo items on my calendar so that they actually get done (see tip #3.)

7. Accept your current NOW experience and have compassion for yourself when your intentions don’t manifest into actual habits.

For example, you want to make more time for your relationship with your partner by having regular date nights, but it just isn’t happening. Rather than shame yourself, I invite you to notice what is happening right NOW- become mindful of your body and thoughts. Next, open up for connection with others who might be feeling the same way. Acknowledge that you are not alone in your struggles. Then, be kind and gentle with yourself when intentions don’t manifest into tangible habits. And lastly, return to tip #1 if and when you are ready.

(Note: Research shows that a self-compassion practice is intensified if you add a gesture of tenderness. A recent client has had great success with putting her hand to her heart and saying to herself, “I’m feeling really stressed out right now. I’m not alone, other moms feel this way too. I’m OK, I’m going to get through this. What do I need right now to meet my own needs? Do I need to lie down? Take some deep breaths? Or eat some protein?”

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I hope this was useful to you in some way. If it was, please share it. Also, leave a comment on a time hack that has worked well for you.

"Bring your power back" by Katarzyna Morzewska

Somehow you change and somehow you’re still the same.

When I was pregnant and then a new mom, everyone told me that my life would never be the same. When I heard it, I felt so much resistance! On the other hand I kept hearing: „You’ll be you, just with a baby.” Well, both of them were true in my case. At least some of it was true. My life did change and I’ve changed but then, I didn’t.

My baby is 10 months old now. I’ve learned how to take care of him, how to feed him, how to play with him and how to love him. It was all a process. New skills. New person. New relationship to build. Of course, I loved him from day one, but as with any relationship in my case, it took time to get to know each other, find out what we do like and what we don’t like. It took time to build connection.

What has changed? Our family is now a group of 3, not of 2. We changed the way we spend our time. I take it slow. Slow is good for now. I give myself time to made a choice. And when I decide, then I take action. Most of my time is dedicated to my baby. I can focus so much better. I work less and get my job done faster. I’m so much better with boundaries and focus. I can focus like a pro.

What hasn’t change? I’m still me. Just in a new phase of my life. I’m still Kat, a person who enjoys deep conversations about life, reading books, watching movies, eating good food and cuddling with my hubby. I’m still me, loving shopping, beautiful things and decluttered space. I’m still me, chatting with friends about spirituality, femininity and newest shade of lipgloss or clothes collections.

So some new things have been introduced into my life. I’ve let go of some. And that’s okay. It’s another chapter, in which I play one more role - a role of a mom.

What do I really want NOW?

This journey to motherhood was not an easy one for me. I work as a Life Coach and I wanted to be prepared for becoming a mom. And I truly believed it is possible ;) So I’ve read books, talked to friends, I journaled like crazy, meditated, and still, when they brought me my little boy, my first thought was: „So what should I do with him now?” They didn’t include the manual.

I’ve tried plans, no plans, schedules, no schedules, tips and tricks, going with the flow, you name it, I’ve tried it. And still I felt really lost. I wanted to enjoy motherhood but many times I felt too tired. I wanted to come back to coaching because I love what I do, yet all I could think of was sleep. Not a good place to be in. Of course I compared myself to others! To my fellow mom-preneurs who took only 3 months of maternity leave and came back to their businesses. But it wasn’t my path. I needed much more time.

So I’ve decided to do what I do best. I coached myself out of this sad space. I sat down with my journal (one of many) and I’ve asked myself: „What do I really want NOW?”

Not what I think I should want or what other women want as moms and entrepreneurs. Without comparison, just me. What do I really want from life at this point? In this stage of my life? And the answers begun to flow.

I wanted to spend time with my baby and enjoy it. I wanted to be outside. I wanted to have some alone time. I wanted to have some just-us-time with my hubby. I wanted to simplify my life (goodbye old clothes, books and all the clutter). I wanted to give myself a break. And come back to coaching only after I felt more rested and really ready. And I gave myself time until my baby was 9 months old. I had some clients up to this point, but it was only 1 or 2 people at the time.

When I felt the moment was right, I started to invite more people to work with me. And guess what? It feels awesome.

I wanted to be inspired. So I started to listen to podcasts and recordings during my daily walks with my baby. It boosted my mood tremendously.

I wanted to look gorgeous in my new body. So I donated 90% of my clothes and bought new ones - only those who scream at me „wear me!” every time I look at them :)

I wanted for my business to feel exciting. So I’ve tapped into my spiritual guidance for fun clues what to do next.

I wanted to have some time for myself. So I hired a nanny.

All of this from one simple question: what do I really want now? And allowing myself to want what I want and ditching the idea of what I should want.

Bring your power back

All of this has helped me to feel really empowered. You also can feel this way. I know as moms, we literally think we don’t have any time. And self-reflection is a luxury. In my opinion it’s a necessity.

Otherwise, we can’t change what we don’t like because we don’t know what feels off in the first place.

So, please pause for 5 minutes and ask yourself:

- What would be so awesome to do today?

- Wouldn’t it be nice if…?

- What do I really want now?

- What kind of support I’d like to have?

And then little by little, step by step, start to make it happen.

In my case it all started with a long cry on my husband’s shoulder that I’m exhausted and miserable and please do something. Of course, not productive at all :) But has worked for 5 minutes :) I knew he couldn’t do anything because it was my inner job. But you know, it was a start, so I’m not judging my-3-months-ago-self. I knew something was off. I knew I needed more insights. So when my baby was napping, I started journaling. Then I made a plan. Then I hired a nanny. And little by little I got my power back.

So, my dear, fellow mama - what do you really want right now?

BIO: Katarzyna Morzewska is a Mentor Masterclass-certified Life Coach who helps women change their lives by getting clear about what they really want. Through her signature process she helps you make big life choices with ease, feel whole and empowered NOW without waiting for having it all figured out. Say goodbye to confusion. She opens people up to possibilities. Find out more at www.katarzynamorzewska.com

You already have everything you need to RELAX!

What is your relationship with sleep?

"Sleep research shows that below the surface of a peaceful snooze, a complex physiological process is taking place…While we sleep, sophisticated sequences of brain waves transform our inert bodies into humming power stations that produce intelligence, alertness and discernment… Surrendering to slumber does more than just restore the ability to function efficiently - it actually generates that clear and transparent state of mind we call wakefulness."-Veronique Vienne, The Art of Doing Nothing

So many of my clients (me included!) have struggled with or are currently struggling with insomnia or an inability to sleep soundly.

Often, our lack of sleep not because our kids are waking us up. I’ve heard many stories where the whole house is peacefully sleeping, but mom is wide awake and can’t get her mind to shut off.

Raise your hand if you have experienced any of the following:

  • racing thoughts at bedtime or during the night
  • repetitive thoughts that cycle like a tape through your mind
  • frustration when not being able to fall asleep within 20 minutes of being in bed
  • anxiety provoking thoughts about you sleep (at any time of day)
  • stressful thoughts about other areas of your life that show up at bedtme
  • a belief that you are not capable of sleeping well
  • worry of any kind

Just because something is normal doesn’t mean it’s ok.

The thing is, we all know the health benefits of getting enough sleep. We all know that these human bodies require 7-9 hours of sleep at night. And even if we WANTED to get this much sleep we just can't go the !@#$ to sleep! We have used medications and herbal remedies to help us sleep- to no avail.

The trouble is not necessarily biochemical (although sometimes it is!) quite often, the issue is closer related to our thoughts and less related to our bodies.

"Appreciation and self-love are the most important tools that you could ever nurture. Appreciation of others, and the appreciation of yourself is the closest vibrational match to your Source Energy of anything that we've ever witnessed anywhere in the Universe." -Abraham-Hicks

Today I want to give you a gift: 5 minutes of pure relaxation. Even if you don’t fall asleep, you will rise feeling much more rested.

Simply close your eyes and listen to this guided meditation

After listening to this guided meditation you can answer these questions in your journal:

  • When I am truly and deeply relaxed, I feel______
  • What gets in the way of my getting deep rest is______
  • What I can do to cultivate more rest in my life (starting today)______

Was this helpful? If so, please consider joining the relaxed mama challenge, which begins October 1st.

How to change your kids annoying behavior in one easy step!

"If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine if it’s not something that could better be changed on ourselves.” -Carl Jung

What I love about this quote is that it pretty much encompasses why I created Mom-ME Circle: to educate, empower, and elevate mothers so that they first know the value in putting on their own oxygen masks first and second, how to actually DO IT. In other words, I teach moms that in order to help our children, we need to take a step back and be mindful of how we take care of ourselves despite and often BEFORE the compelling needs of our kids.

Notice if the above quote increases your guild or shame. It’s not meant to, but if it does- that too can be used as grist for the mill. In the past, when I experienced negative feelings around my parenting it often led to self denial and painful self criticism. Neither of which were actually helpful.

So how do we create lasting change in our children’s behavior (when they are annoying the sh*t out of us?

-More self care (not less!)

-More balance

-More mental calmness and composure.

The payoff of all of these things is the ability to take our children’s behaviors (and our partner’s, parent’s, friend’s…) less personally.

Science tells us that children’s brain waves synchronize with ours. So, if we are experiencing anxiety, very often so are our children. Jung’s words are proven to be very accurate indeed. 

Summertime is one of those times for me when I experience increased anxiety. There is this huge expanse of “free time” and so many things we want to do. I actually find myself busier then ever despite the desire to “just relax.” I notice that my kids hone in on this feeling of overwhelm and react by sharing their own overwhelmed feelings with me. 

Rather than putting them in a time out (which doesn’t really work the way they are supposed to anyway- a topic for another time), I put MYSELF in a time out. I’ve learned that pushing forward and doing more doesn’t actually bring the desired effect.

When I find myself wishing that my kids were different I use it as a trigger to add more self care into my every day. For me that looks like:

-Meditate more

-Spend some time in nature, without my phone

-Increase my physical activity, like yoga, walking up hills, or dance party in the kitchen

-Get more sleep

-Eat more slowly and mindfully

-Breath deeper

-Play and laugh with intention

-Create moments of stillness

-Connect with those I love on a regular basis

Miraculously, my kids DO change their behavior without me parenting them differently. Although, I probably DO parent differently, it just doesn't feel HARD the way it use to. Try it for yourself and let me know what you discover!

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Are you looking for more connection and support? You can join one of our Mom-MECircles (Bay area or Virtual) today!

One of my favorite things... you might be surprised

Sleeping in… (haven’t done this in a while), with soft sheets, and the perfect pillow. Sipping a fabulous cup of chai tea in a sunny window seat surrounded by my loved ones. Taking time to do something for myself that makes my heart sing. Saying no and not feeling guilty afterwards. Taking a hot bath with sea salt and baking soda. This video:

These are a few of my favorite things because they make me feel complete, unadulterated joy.

The list could go on for quite some time. Today, I am choosing to indulge in the sweet scent of my neighbors rose garden. These roses instantly give me a joy jolt whenever I pass them. Maybe it’s because they remind me of all the other people who pass by and enjoy them, including my kids. And maybe it's just because I love my neighbor and her enthusiasm for her roses is contagious.

According to an article I read a while back, “shared joy" has been scientifically proven and is now the basis of a study published in the prominent British Medical Journal. In it Boston Globe reporter Carolyn Y. Johnson writes:

"It seems obvious that your closest friends might influence your mood, but the study found that…the happiness of a friend of a friend of a friend boosts your chance of being happy."

The ripple effect of happiness that these roses bring is such a gift and I want to share it with you today. (Can you feel your joy rising already?!) I even made some delicious rose tea with the petals and I call it JOY TEA because that is how I imagine joy would taste. (Recipe below.)

Here are some of the similarities I have found between growing roses and growing joy:

  1. Strong roots. There is this invisible connective tissue of thoughts and feelings that binds us humans to each other just like the root system of a rose bush. We need to tap those roots by connecting with our tribe if we want to get the biggest joy jolt possible. Join the Mom-ME Facebook tribe today.
  2. Self-Care. If we are aware and awake in your human body and open in your heart, like a rose opening to the sunshine, you will know joy. To do this we need to be well tended to (knowing when and how to step in and when to step back/ let go.) For more on this see last week's post.
  3. Miracles. As to the happiness study, I'm not sure we really need one to measure or prove that joy is a miracle. Forces beyond our control make a thorny branch produce roses and a well lived life produces both pain and pleasure- both of which can be joy enhancing when used as grist for the mill.
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BACK TO YOU:

You don't have to take my word for it. Conduct your own JOY experiment in the weeks and months to come. Notice if your sense of ease, peace, or joy has any effect on your home, family, a neighbor, colleague, friend, or even a loved one living on the other side of world!

JOY Experiment:

  • Spend a few minutes in a place that feels cluttered, unloved, untended, dark, congested. Notice your breathing, mood, energy level. (Some suggestions: where your garbage cans are kept, an untended garden, or the messiest room in your home.)
  • Repeat the exercise in a space that feels harmonious, tended, light-filled, sparkly, clutter-free. Go outdoors if you have to. Notice your breathing, mood, energy level.
  • Be mindful of your energy body. How do you feel during and afterwards?
  • Compare the two experiences. How does each space feel physically? Mentally? Emotionally? Is it possible to compare without judging them as good or bad?

After you've had a chance to experience two different environments, record your impressions in your journal using the prompts below:

  • Sitting in a space that feels unloved, untended, dark, congested, and cluttered makes me feel [physically, mentally, emotionally]______
  • Sitting in a space that is harmonious, tended, light-filled, sparkly, and clutter-free makes me feel______
  • One small thing I can do today [this week] to change the way my home feels is______

Fresh rose petal tea

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 to 2 cups of fresh, pesticide-free rose petals (Be sure to choose petals that are organic.)
  • 3 cups of water
  • Honey or other sweetener, optional

RECIPE:

Clean the petals in a colander placed under running water.

Place the 1 to 2 cups rose petals in a saucepan filled with 3 cups of water.

Boil for five minutes. Then strain and pour into cups or mugs.

Sweeten with honey or enjoy as it is. Easy Peasy.

Notice how your state of being affects the world around you, and how the world, in turn, mirrors you back to you.

Cultivating Self-Care

The what, when, how, and why of self-care

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I love this Anne Taintor card of a woman lying in bed in her silk nightgown, looking out at nothing in particular, contemplating her exquisite and uncomplicated life.

The caption reads: “I dreamed my whole house was clean."

1950's glamour aside, this card says it all on so many levels. How often do we feel remorseless about taking time to do something that feels good (sleep!?) - just for our selves?  Or have the courage to opt out of doing something that feels like a "should" and might disappoint someone?

An over arching theme in many of my coaching calls with moms is that they desire to really feel their feelings to their full and natural completion. The thing is, if we don't feel safe and secure in our self worth, we will naturally push away any “dark” feelings because they feel too overwhelming. What we need is a container that allows us to feel safe enough to let go… For me, that container is called self-care. So, today I will be sharing 5 FACTS about self-care with the intention of making it difficult for you NOT do indulge in it.

FACT #1: Self-care is NOT optional if you want to live a full, joy filled life. It is not an extra-curricular activity. It is not something to do when you're sick or everyone else in the house is taken care of. In the world of “moming," self-care is right up there with breathing. You wouldn’t stop breathing just because your child had a need. In fact, it would be much more helpful to your child if you took a deep breath BEFORE helping them. Just one calm, slow breath is an act of self-care.

Fact #2: The "self" part of self-care means precisely that: by yourself, for yourself--not for your spouse, mother, child, dog, neighbor, best friend…! We cannot possibly be of service to anyone when we are overextended and our circuits are fried.

Fact #3: You can give yourself a little nudge (this is especially crucial if you are a new mom or have recently entered into a transitional period) by adopting one or more of these ways to choose self-care instead:

WAYS TO OPT OUT GRACEFULLY:

  • Decline graciously with "Thanks for asking, I'm sorry it's not going to work for me this time."
  • Turn it over to voicemail: Put a message on your voice mail letting callers know that it may take a few days to return their call.
  • Add an away message: Put an auto-responder message on your email service saying that you will not be replying to any emails for a while. If their email is important, ask them to resend it after a certain date.
  • Unsubscribe to email lists that no longer serve and support you; cancel your subscription to the newspaper or a magazine that you never read.

 "I live by the truth that 'No' is a complete sentence." -Anne Lamott, O Magazine

For more creative ways to say "no" check out this link.

If you're still too attached to being in control, or needed (I know I often am) remember to keep it simple: no fuss, no guilt. And if you do feel twinges of "missing out" or remorse, use them as an opportunity to embrace them.

Fact #4: Self-care can sometimes feel uncomfortable. Every time you step out of your comfort zone to take care of yourself before you take care of someone you care about, you are bringing in more light, moving more energy, and triggering the fight-or-flight response. Like an acupuncturist, you are "agitating" stuck energies - on purpose - as a way to move and release them.

Self-care is the "yin" to the "yang" of motherhood (more on this in and upcoming post.) It works to calm down your nervous system, help you feel safe, and bring you back into balance.

Fact #5: Practicing self-care is deeply and soulfully nourishing. It is like a lotion or a balm that soothes and smoothes the parts of yourself that may still feel a bit raw, jangled, and not quite ready to embrace the lighter energies of living clear. It also helps you tap more joy.

Your turn: When was the last time you put your needs first over the needs of others? And how did it feel? What is one act of self-care that nudges you out of your comfort zone?

Is it taking a nap in the middle of the day? Is it watching one of your guilty pleasures on TV without having to apologize for it? Is it letting a family member sort out a problem on their own because you don't have the time or the bandwidth to help them?

Today say yes to self-care and no to anything that does not serve and support you.

(And allow the squirmy monkey mind to not like it one bit.)

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Tomorrow, I launched my first virtual Mom-ME Circle. For 5 weeks we will be doing a deep dive into how we can take care of ourselves so that we can better serve those we love. There are still a few spots left, but not for long! If you would like to join us you can register here: mom-mecircle.com/virtual.

We are ALWAYS connected, even when we aren't

On July 7th, Brandon and I will have been married for 10 years. We are both partners in life and in parenting and I love him more than I thought it was possible to love someone.

Right now, while our kids are still little (6 and almost 2), we have decided to divide the workload so that he does the lion's share of business outside the home and I do the lioness's share of the child-rearing (while maintaining a Life Coaching practice on the side.) That is our arrangement and while it works for us, sometimes it feels like our "worlds" are miles apart. 

Last week, while Brandon was on a "Mancation" (a vacation with his man friends), I was home solo with the kids. Typically, this would have been fairly simple and easy because we have a good routine, but it just so happened that THIS week we got the flu. I'm talking fluids exiting the body from all directions type of flu.

It's shitty to be sick even when he's around, but single parenting sick kids while also being sick myself was SUPER SHITTY! Then, I got my period.

Needless to say, I felt very distant and disconnected from Brandon during this time.

But the truth is, despite our differences in experience and our distance in miles, we actually were VERY connected. The strange thing about this time is that almost every time I had "an episode" Brandon would inevitably call me. And while I couldn't pick up the phone, because I was otherwise occupied, I was comforted by the fact that he some how *knew* that I was in distress. 

The longer I know Brandon the more I realize that, if I remain open, our love and connectivity can continue to evolve and things are not always as I once thought they were.

"We all want to feel connected. That idea is more powerful than any magic I can do."                                 -David Blaine

So, in honor of our upcoming anniversary, I thought I'd spice things up here on the blog (and maybe bend your mind a little) today with a YouTube clip of magician David Blaine demonstrating a simple concept with some of Hollywood's A-listers.

What I love about this clip is that you see these actors as real people (and trust me, actors ARE real people.) I also love that it's no trick. This video is a terrific visual as I've seen of inter-connectivity of the human mind. If you still need proof that our mind is not localized between our ears, this might help.

So next time you feel disconnected from your partner or think a worry thought that you weren't experiencing moments before, could it be that, maybe, just maybe, it might not. be. yours?

Just a thought.

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify!

Spring has sprung!

And so has my desire to simply my life. Not just the THINGS in my life, but also the thoughts in my head, my daily routine, and the way I do things. 

When I look for role models in the simplicity department the first one that comes to my head makes me grin in remembrance of my childhood: Mr Rogers. Do you remember this guy? He send a powerful message to my generation that the world is good and that our surroundings deserve our respect and care. He conveyed this message with such simplicity with his calm demeanor and regular habits that I remember really wanting to be his neighbor. It was his simple ways that gave me a sense that everything was going to be ok. He responded to situations (rather than reacting to them) in a way that was slow and steady. Now, as a grownup and parent, I STILL want him to be my neighbor!

The following, written by Lex Breckinridge, reminded me why Mr. Rogers was a part of my life. He offered light in a simple way.

“Deep and simple is far more essential than shallow and complex.” This off-the-cuff observation was made by Fred Rogers, better known as “Mr. Rogers,” creator of “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood,” the longest running series on PBS. He said it to a young man named Benjamin Wagner during a conversation about Wagner’s job as a journalist and a producer for MTV, a job that Wagner regarded with much ambivalence. Rogers turned to him and said, “You know, Benjamin, I feel so strongly that deep and simple is far more essential than shallow and complex.” Mr. Rogers died not long thereafter, and Benjamin, who said that this comment haunted him for years, set out on a journey of discovery to get to know the real Mr. Rogers, to seek out the neighbors who knew Mr. Rogers best, to see what that seemingly offhand comment might really mean.

The results of this search may be seen in a beautiful, moving documentary film called “Mr. Rogers & Me,” now showing on PBS. Benjamin discovered that Fred Rogers, an ordained Presbyterian minister who was in later years a faithful Episcopalian, was exactly the same warm, compassionate, caring person in real life as the character he played on his long-running children’s television program. He was completely sincere when he would say face-to-face to one person what he said to millions of children, “I like you just the way you are.”

In the documentary we see the late Tim Russert saying that Rogers was “… forever taking advantage of every moment to tell people that it is important that we respect one another and love one another.” Linda Ellerbe observes that Rogers believed that everyone “… had this wonderful person inside who was just dying to get out, and he was going to open the door for you, and then help you open the door for others. That’s pretty simple and pretty deep.” A life’s work spent affirming the goodness of individual human beings, honoring their dignity, and teaching and encouraging them to pass that respect and love along to others. That sounds positively counter cultural. It certainly goes against the grain of our noisy, hypercompetitive world. In fact, it sounds like the gospel, and it sounds like Jesus’ instructions to his disciples to go spread the good news. Deep and simple, indeed.

We work diligently to make our lives complex. Do you feel as if your life is overscheduled? If so, chances are it is overly complex. Yet, all this complexity gets in the way of true human encounters. Anything and everything we do that does not affirm the worth of another human being or that ignores or overlooks another person who is as much God’s Beloved as we are probably indicates a degree of complexity in our lives that is life-denying rather than life-affirming.

Fred Rogers seems to have lived life with very little stress. He was an extremely intelligent and gifted person, so it’s not as if he were not paying attention. The pursuit of material things was also not a priority for him, although he clearly had all that he needed. His low stress life was a result of placing others first. In everything he did, and in every human encounter he had, he “sought to seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving his neighbor as himself,” as the Baptismal covenant puts it. Seems like a pretty straightforward prescription to reduce complexity and thereby reduce stress in our own lives. Summer is a good time to begin this practice, a time to make every human encounter a valuable one, a time to see Christ in one another. Deep and simple.  -Lex Breckinridge, Rector at St. Thomas Epicsopal Church Medina (from the June 2012 Collect)

So how do I bring Mr Rogers, or at least his values, into my own home?

My #1 tip for creating a simple life: PREDICTABILITY!

Being calm, consistent and caring in all aspects of our lives (work life, finances, living environment, personal growth, health, community, family life, and spiritual practices) is key to creating the kind of effortless, spacious MAGIC that Mr Rogers exuded. 

I know that when I make simplicity the main frame in my parenting everything else just seems to fall into place. So, yes I am doing a major decluttering of my home this spring, but I am also decluttering our schedules so that our weekends are spacious and unplanned, meditating before bed so I fall asleep with a less full mind, and being intentional about how many trips we plan this summer. 

Our children cannot differentiate between themselves and the outside world that causes us parents to be stressed and anxious. They take our hurriedness extremely personal because their senses are so unfiltered. It is my job, as my kid’s mom, to show them that the world is good. (There is enough time, later in life, to learn about the dangers of the world.)

Regular habits in daily life allow children to build a solid foundation of security. Likewise, multi-tasking and novelty create insecurity in kids because they don’t know what will happen next or who will pay attention to them. So, for the sake our your children (and your own sanity) I urge you to SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY! I have created a worksheet to help you think about ways you can simplify different areas of your life.

Here are a few ways I am simplifying my life right now:

  • Make sure I get enough sleep. This often means saying “no” to evening requests or at least limiting them to one night a week.
  • Eat a balanced diet. This requires some planning ahead so that my pantry and fridge are stocked with nourishing foods.
  • Exercise regularly. This is usually just a walk to a local coffee shop with my dog. It’s not much, but the fact that it is simple and easy ensures that it gets done.
  • Go to the doctor, dentist, chiropractor… on a regular basis. If I stop caring for my body it makes everything else harder so I just make this a priority.
  • Schedule time for recreation, such as going out with girl friends, reading a good book, or seeing a movie with my hubby. If it’s on the calendar it gets done.
  • Have a healthy rhythm that allows enough time to do what I have to do so that I’m not rushing. This usually means I need to drop some activities from the routine so that I have enough time and spaciousness for the ones that are truly important.
  • Observe nature and its changing beauty. Mother earth always reminds me how joyful and peaceful simplicity is.
  • Stop and just watch my children now and then. I’ll just sit and watch them as they go about an activity rather than engage with them. It sometimes takes my breath away how beautiful they are and how I miss these breathtaking moments when life is complicated.
  • Allow myself time to reflect on what is happening. My journal is my happy place. 😃
  • Carefully choose the information I take in by being intentional about the books I read, movies or TV I watch and people I spend time with.
  • Listen to my inner dialogue. A friend recently shared this quote with me by William Morris, “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.”  I feel it also applies to my thoughts. If they aren’t useful or beautiful they don’t belong.

Remember, making mistakes is a natural part of learning and that simplicity is a practice.

 

 

How to choose ease when life seems so hard

Are you getting enough sleep?

How about nutritious food?

Exercise?

Many of us will answer “no" to all if not at least one of the above questions. And for those of us that can say “yes" to all 3, I celebrate you!

Many of the moms I work with are high achievers. They are learning to take excellent care of themselves by getting the sleep they need, eating food that is nourishing, and getting exercise several times a week, but they are still exhausted and feel like they are walking up an endless hill with no sign of a peak, where they can rest.

If this sounds like you, if you want to know how to choose EASE when life seems so hard, you are not alone!

ENERGY LEAKS

Let’s look at some possible invisible habits that might be playing a part in the dis-ease that you are feeling.

- Ruminating without any action to remedy the situation

- Worrying about the future

- Regrets

- Overcomplicating

- Procrastination

- Being inauthentic to please others

- Anxiety

- Stuffing feelings out of shame

The key to stopping the energy leaks is to become aware of our invisible habits (make them visible by becoming aware or them.) As we learn to become aware of our habits it’s important to remember that we learn the right thing at the right time, and mistakes are part of that learning process. Reflecting on the past and taking note of new approaches can be fruitful, but that is different from ruminating on the past or being regretful to the point of depression.

I know that I go through times in my life when I am prone to many of these things. I’ve learned that when I linger in ruminating by repeating a conversation over and over in my head, I am not present for the moment. And this is where ease exists, in the present moment. When my attention is divided between doing and thinking I become too exhausted to even see what is happening. When I take a step back- take a few breaths, talk to a friend who will just listen to me, or do some other type of self-care, I can see things much more clearly. The past is done and ruminating about it won’t change that.

Worry (imagining negative outcomes before they happen) and anxiety have been some of my other personal go to invisible habits. The antidote to these is often humor. Have you ever noticed that having a good giggle and worrying are totally incompatible?! Now of course hard things will still happen that are out of our control, but worrying about them does not prepare us to meet them when they come. If you have a habit of worrying, you’ll notice how quickly your thinking can dash off into negative patterns of thought. Wouldn’t it feel much better to stay in the present moment, trusting that you will know what to do when challenges arise? This DOES require some mental muscles not to engage in worry, but like any muscle growth, it can be done by lifting small weights first then lifting heavier ones as you get stronger!

Overcomplicating things and procrastination are other ways we diffuse our energy as moms. While not always easy, there is great value in keeping life simple, taking time to plan, and having clarity about what we are about to do and why. For example, I am currently in Spring cleaning mode with my kid’s toy collections. I find it much EASIER to clean up when there aren’t so many things in my space. 

MORE WAYS TO PLUG THOSE ENERGY LEAKS

Energy leaks rob us of our ease, peace and joy by consuming all of our energy. A great way to plug up this leak is guided meditations. My favorite app these days is Headspace. I have also created a meditation for you HERE. ENJOY! (Sorry about the quality of this recording... I'm working on it :))

Journaling is another great way to plug up the energy leaks. IT allows you to get your brain on paper, where you can actually see it. I love the work of Byron Katie because of the way she empowers me to come up with ways to to look at my life from a different perspective. I offer you this worksheet to help make journaling even EASIER. 

And my last a favorite way to find ease... Surrender! (Oh boy, this one is the most difficult for me, but also the most effective.) 

Quick personal story: This weekend I am going away for 24 hours for the first time in my son's life. I am filled with both excitement because I am going to be with my two sisters and also fear that my kids will suffer while I'm gone. I know that when I feel fear it's a sure sign I'm relying on my own strength instead of the strength of God. God (and I could also say the Universe, Spirit, the fairies...) is always ready to support me, but She won’t step in until I step aside. So, I surrender this sister trip through prayer, knowing that all will be as EASY as I let it be.

The secret to surrendering is to forget what you think you need. Do not wish or hope for a specific outcome. Instead, ask for the highest good for all.

By plugging your energy leaks with conscious effort you will notice that time actually feels like it is expanding because you are living in the moment rather than the future or the past. This way of living nourishes not only you, but your children as well because they can’t understand when you body is present, but your mind and heart really aren’t because you are distracted by your own thoughts.

May you be filled with ease, peace and joy today and always- for the benefit of all!

Love your life challenge Week 3

Welcome to week 3 of the love your life challenge. This is the final week of the challenge. How are you FEELING?

This week I am introducing a new tool: The Snappy Nappy Technique

I'm going to share with you a strategy I use that I call "the snappy nap technique." It is one of the strategies that has allowed me to stay home with my kids while also building a coaching business. And, it has allowed me to work less than 15 hours a week on my business (during nap time) so that I can enjoy a few hours of my paid child-care for personal enjoyment. :) Now, if you don't have a child at home that naps you can still do this, but most of my readers are mothers to young children and nap time is precious "ME time."

It all starts with a timer. (The one on your phone works great and you can also search the APP store.)

You may have already heard of this technique referred to as the Pomodoro Technique. It was created by an Italian student who realized that he was having a hard time studying really big and important concepts. So, he took out a kitchen timer (which happened to be shaped like a tomato- "pomodoro" in Italian.) He set his timer for 25 minutes then sat down to study. When the timer went off he took a break; walked around the block, did something relaxing... Then he came back to his studies and set the timer again for 25 minutes.

Sounds doable enough right?! He found that he could get really focused using this technique and was able to do what he previously thought was only possible in long stretches of time in very short, focused bursts. And let's be honest here- most of us mamas only HAVE short bursts of time, when the baby naps. (Mamas of newborns who only nap in 30 minute increments, it gets better... I promise!)

"The Snappy nap" technique allows you to hack your brain. It retrains you to focus on the moment in front of you. During this short burst of time you use your energy to hone in on ONE THING AT A TIME. You are going to love this because these short, focused bursts of energy without distractions are going to lead you directly to that core desired feeling.

If you start with the technique we talked about in week 1, followed by honing in on a "Important, but not urgent" task that has the potential to make you feel your CDF THEN spend 25 minutes on a that behavior (which you may have previously been putting off because you don't have "time") you will get into the zone and build momentum very, very quickly.

"The snappy nap" technique is all about making incremental progress instead of just putting things off or forcing yourself to slog through something.

Are you ready? OK, let's put that baby to bed and get cracking!

As always, here is my invitation to stay committed to living a life you love...

Week 3: Commitments


Choose three things off your to-do list for today.

This should be something that fills you with your core desired feeling (Does folding laundry REALLY fit the bill?! If it doesn't make you feel your CDF decide to do it at another time) and something you are certain can be completed start-to-finish during your baby's nap or child's quiet time (1.5 hours- fingers crossed!) Using "the snappy nap" technique to do it will help you see how much more quickly you can complete this task.

To get some ideas, check out your urgent and important and not urgent, but important lists. If they include mostly open ended, ongoing projects, then you will want to se benchmarks for them to better measure your progress. Measuring your accomplishments may also bring on that CDF and this will keep you motivated to keep going. Also, the length of nap-time can very depending on your child. To learn more about how much sleep you child needs check this out.

If you need some ideas to get you started, check out this list:

  1. Meditate
  2. Take your own nap
  3. Do something productive like work on your own personal blog
  4. Give yourself a massage
  5. Make a cup of tea, let it cool to your optimum tea drinking temperature, then actually drink it without doing anything else
  6. Prep dinner
  7. Send a friend a heartfelt email checking in with her and telling her about how you are doing
  8. Make a list of fun outings for you and your baby
  9. Have a long shower…
  10. ….get dressed…
  11. …put on make-up…
  12. …and do your hair (or all four, depending on how many pomodoros you can get in)
  13. Menu plan
  14. If your partner is around, talk :)
  15. Write thank you notes from your baby shower
  16. Read some blog posts 
  17. Pin some things
  18. Check your email and unsubscribe to lists that you no longer want to be on
  19. Tackle the dreaded laundry basket
  20. Unloading the dishwasher
  21. Paint your nails
  22. Have a friend over for a visit
  23. Read a book or a magazine 
  24. Do some online shopping
  25. Watch that youtube video everyone has been telling you about
  26. Fix that thing that's been driving you crazy
  27. Clean out your closet
  28. Call your mom
  29. Make another cup of tea
  30. Bake
  31. Pay your bills

Now that you have decided what to do, when the time is right, put your child down for their nap/ set them up with a quiet activity and set your timer for 25 minutes.

Take your list (or mine if you need ideas), get your timer, and begin your chosen task for 25 minutes.

Take a 5 minute break

During your 5 minute break you could:

  • stop what you are doing
  • Stand up
  • walk around
  • grab a snack
  • go outside to breath some fresh air
  • have a personbal dance party
  • write someone a text
  • take an extra long bathroom break
  • check the baby monitor to determine if you can do another pomodoro :)

Rinse and Repeat!

Many Blessings, 

Belle  

Mom-MEcircle.com

P.S. to schedule your FREE planning session to uncover your core desired feelings and your hidden blocks that prohibit you from loving your life click here.

Love your life challenge Week 2

Welcome to week 2 of the love your life challenge. How'd it go last week? Were you able to come up with actions that will lead to your core desired feelings?

Today, we are going to talk about how to move from mind-FULL to mindful

The tool I’d like to share this week is called white space and it’s intention is to get all of those thoughts about what you need to do out of your brain and onto paper. I can already hear you saying, “But, I’ve already done this before. It’s called a to-do list. Right?” Well, yes and no.

White space is created by dumping out everything that is clouding up your mind… a brain dump if you will.

So, here’s what you need to do:

  • Get a piece of paper and a pen or open up a blank page on your computer. Set a timer for 15 minutes using your phone or a kitchen timer.
  • Write down everything on your mental to-do list. (Don’t censor or edit! Just keep writing for the allotted time.) You can include home stuff and/work stuff. Include the urgent/important, urgent/not important, not urgent/not important, and not urgent/important. If you are familiar with Steven Covey’s work you know what I’m talking about.
  • When the timer goes off and you feel complete you are DONE. If not, set it for another 5 minutes and keep going. Do this as many times as needed until you feel like your mind has been wrung out. A few more to-dos might dribble in and you can collect them as they do.



This will most likely be your longest to-do list EVER. DON’T panic! I’m not going to ask you to begin doing the items on your list. In fact, resist that urge.

First, we need to prioritize.

This should be fun. Remember, we are doing the things we need to do to FEEL the way we want to feel. So, go back to that feeling you desire because you’ll likely uncover a good deal of the tasks from your list that either lead to the exact opposite feeling than the one you are after OR they make you feel the way you want. The later are the ones you want to spend your time and energy on.

Right now, the list you are looking at is not manageable. Prioritizing is absolutely key for managing your to-do list. So, take out 4 different colored highlighters or pens. We are going to hash out what needs to be done right now, what you can handle later, what you NEED to make time for and what you can delegate or dump. Each of these 4 categories is going to be highlighted or underlined with a different color.

For example…

Pink: Urgent and Important

Tasks that are highlighted pink are near emergencies that need to be done ASAP. If you don’t do them now, something bad will happen. (Quick, go do one of these tasks right now. We will be here when you get back.)

If you are finding yourself with a lot of pink highlights you are probably feeling super stressed out and anxious. These are todos probably do not lead to your core desired feelings so we want to take a good look at why there are so many of them. Feeling like you are constantly putting out fires not only creates havoc on your personal and business lives, it is also a disastrous place to parent from. Your kids deserve a mama who is calm and collected, not one who is living as if life were an emergency.

Orange: Urgent but Not Important

Tasks that are highlighted orange are things that need to get done on a regular basis, but they are not going to make or break you.

Some examples of what might be in this category are child related actions: giving your baby a bath, sending in a registration for summer camp, scheduling a babysitter for date night, etc. These are things that you need to do, but  you should be able to do while maintaining your core desired feeling. One way to do this is to prepare for them in advance so you aren’t rushing through bath time because you didn’t give yourself enough time. The tools that you are learning today will ensure that you can perform these orange items with a sense of peace and joy and that they don’t fall through the cracks. Just because they are called “not important” doesn’t actually mean that you don’t want to do them. Of course you want to bathe your baby! 

Yellow: Not Urgent and Not Important

So many of my stay at home mamas (including me at one time) fill their days up with tasks that are ultimately un-important and that do not help them feel the way they want to feel. 

So, I want to ask you, if it doesn’t make you feel the way you want to feel or help you achieve a goal, and if it isn’t urgent, then why are you doing it? Is it possible to stop? Can you drop it all together and see what happens?

Again, I can hear you asking, “So, what kinds of tasks fall under this area?” And it really depends on the individual. That is why I am inviting you to question everything on your master list. If it’s not creating your core desired feeling or getting a positive result, DUMP IT!

Green: Important but Not Urgent

Tasks that are highlighted green DO help you feel the way you want to feel, but they usually require focused time and energy. I call these the "love my life" tasks.

Here are my personal "love my life" tasks that came up when I did this exercise:
 

1. Get off the internet at least an hour before going to bed.

Oh yes, that’s the first one. 

I already spend far too much time on the Internet during the day so you'd think it would be EASY to get off at night. Not so! Here is an example of a "love my life task" that FEELS good in the long run (I sleep better), but is difficult in the short run. I doubt anyone will combat me there. 

So I make the effort to change the way I feel in my body, my focus, and my words (see last week's post) before I get off the Internet so that I FEEL good as I'm doing it. Make sense?

2. Take a day off from work.

One of the funniest comedians I’ve listened to in a while is John Mulaney. He said in a recent bit that canceling plans gives you the same instantly good feeling as an illegal drug I won’t point out here or encourage use of, but you get the point. The reason we love to bail is because it feels fantastic.

That’s why I responsibly take a day off from work (a Mom-ME day.) Right now, my work mostly consists of "momming" so this means hiring a babysitter or asking a friend to watch my kids. I return to them feeling like a million bucks.

3. Wear cute clothes and makeup.

For me, this would be a a pretty shirt and nice jeans (instead of yoga pants) with my slightly heeled boots and some blush and lipgloss. 

Often, I fall out of bed and just put on whatever is “comfortable.” But this often doesn't FEEL good. So, If I want to love my life I take the mental effort to dress myself nicely and I notice how great I feel throughout the entire day.

4. Yoga.

You probably saw this coming if you know me personally. Yoga always makes me feel better. The act of moving my body refreshes so much. Even though it's often a pain to have take schedule in a class, the physical reward I get from yoga just adds to the mental benefits.

5. Do something I've been putting off.

This can relate to all sorts of things, such as paying bills, errands, organizing my garage, etc. I know that if I want to feel great instantly all I need to do is accomplish something small that I've been putting off. I feel great about it because that’s one less thing weighing on my subconscious, especially if this is a task that really needed to be done. 

6. Smile.

OK, share time... If I'm really in need of feeling better I get in front of my mirror and practice my smile (or sometimes I recite a "mom-me moment") to adjust how I come across. I won’t say that this activity is free from vanity, but my ego loves it and it is an instant pick me up.

7. Clean my phone up.

Playing the delete game is a great way for me to feel like I’ve simplified my life, getting rid of the redundancies on my phone that are clogging up space and setting me up for embarrassing moments when my family starts looking through my photo albums.

8. Turn my phone off.

It’s a simple pleasure to be off the grid for a few hours. In fact, every Saturday I try to spend the entire day without my phone. My family loves it and so do I.

9. Call a friend I haven't spoken to in a while.

We don't even need to have the world’s longest conversation, but calling my friends is  a real mood changer, especially if we haven't talked in a while. I like to do this when my son naps.

10. Sing.

I love to sing in the shower because my voice sounds so good in there :). 


 Your turn! As the curator of your own life, what things can you do to FEEL GOOD? Put these on a new list.

Everything else either needs to be done fast and dirty, delegated (thanks for folding the laundry, hon!), or discarded so you can spend your time and energy on things that deliver your core desired feelings on a silver platter. 

Extra Credit after using the "Covey quadrants" try using the CDF quadrants and instead of the word "important" use one of your core desired feelings. For example, I might use Urgent and "peaceful" for my top right quadrant."  

And if you choose too stay committed to living a life your love here are a few more invitations...

Week 2: Commitments

Start working your to-do list

1. Do the urgent and important tasks. If you come across any tasks that are repeating (like laundry or meal planning) I suggest you create a system so you can prevent them from becoming urgent emergencies. (No clean underwear or nothing to eat for dinner and it's 5pm.)

2. Do the urgent but not important tasks. These need your attention. While you do these tasks I suggest you make a checklist so that it will be easier to pass off or complete the task faster next time. For example, you could make a "baby packing list" so that either your husband can pack the baby stuff or you can do it quickly without having to re-remember what to pack.

3. Schedule time for important but not urgent tasks. You have to schedule time in your calendar for these. These will greatly enhance your ability to love your life. Invest you time in these tasks by putting them on your calendar. If it gets scheduled it gets done!

4. Cross off any not important or urgent tasks. I want you to take a long hard look at these guys. For this week, experiment with NOT DOING them. They are a waste of your precious time and energy. Your core desired feelings with thank you.

Next week we will be talking about ending procrastination so that you can do the things you need to do to feel the way you want to feel sooner rather than later. Stay tuned.

Many Blessings, 

Belle  

Mom-MEcircle.com

P.S.  I would love to chat with you about how you may be unconsciously living a life that feels less than lovely.   When you Thrive, the whole world is your playground.   Book your FREE Assessment Session and planning call right now.  

Love your life challenge Week 1

Welcome to week 1 of the love your life challenge. I’m so excited to get started.

In my work with mamas, both in groups and individually, I’ve been astonished that so many of them don’t really know how they want to feel. They think they know what things or experiences would make them happy, but they aren’t totally certain about exactly what the feeling they desire is. 

In her book, The Desire Map, Danielle Laporte talks about uncovering your “core desired feelings.” By defining your core desired feelings (CDFs), you can create a map for success. You can learn how to shift your entire life by allowing your inspiration to come from within rather than from an external source.

To access your own CDF ask yourself these questions:

 

  • How do you want to feel in the deepest part of your being?

 

  • What feelings make you feel more aligned with your true self?

 

  • What feelings make you come alive?


I discovered The Desire Map several years ago and devoured it. In future posts I will go into greater depth what my personal "CDFs are.” For now, let’s focus on YOU.

In my coaching practice I come across so many moms who lack direction and focus so I invite them to tap into their own hearts, where their desires reside and can give them guidance and reassurance of their path. 

Our core desired feelings are unique to the season of life that we are in so it is important to pin them down (in writing preferably) for our current season so that we can remind ourselves of how we want to feel. They can become our guide posts that lead us toward our true selves.

So, let’s dive right in and talk about making time for actions that are inspired by core desired feelings... This challenge is all about doing the things you need to do in order to feel the way you want to feel so you can be the woman you want to be. This week I want to challenge you to become the curator of your own life. Together, we are going to cultivate lives that feel full and spacious, peaceful and vivacious, with direction and yet grounded in the present moment. Are you ready?! Ok, grab your journal or print out this workbook page.


How do you want to feel within the category of...


1. livelihood and lifestyle?

2. body and wellness?

3. creativity and learning?

4. relationships and society?

5. essence and spirituality?


If you need some ideas you can head to Danielle, Laporte’s core desired feeling library: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/cdf/

After you have answered these questions, go back and consider ways you can make these CDFs more of a reality. There are three concrete ways to do this:
1. With the way your move your body. (How can you sit/stand/walk or position you body in a way that adds you core desired feeling to your current state of mind?)
2. With what you focus on. (What can you focus on more/less to bring about your core desired feeling?)
3. The words you say out loud and to yourself. (What do you need to tell yourself and affirm in the way and what you say to others that will lead to your core desired feelings?)


Once you have uncovered your core desired feelings and come up with quick ways to access those feelings, list action items you can do that will maintain the feelings or keep you coming back for more. For example, under body and wellness my core desired feeling is “strong.” To feel strong I can stand up straight, with my shoulders relaxed. There is a slight tension in my muscles. I focus on my what I know I am good at and keep those things at the forefront of my mind. And I tell myself that I am capable of taking on what is in front of me. I also speak to others from a place of strength and confidence in my own abilities. My action item that I can do to maintain this feeling of strength is to create a morning routine that includes meditation and exercise. Even though getting up an hour early feels overwhelming, if I remind myself how good I will feel after I am more likely to do it. And now, as soon as I wake up in the morning I can quickly access that strength using my body, my focus, and my words.

So, if you are on board for the "love your life challenge" here are a few commitments I would like to invite you to make to YOURSELF!...

Week 1: Commitments

  • How much time can you commit to ACTIONS that lead to your CDF this week?


Look at how much time you can realistically commit to doing the things that make you FEEL the way you want to feel. If it’s just 30 minutes a day, that’s amazing! I know that you have an already very full life.  When we mindfully focus our time on high-level tasks we get high-level results (both at home and at work.)

And if you are able to do more than 30 minutes on a high level task that’s great too. Please, don’t over extend yourself though. We already hold ourselves to such high standards and we don’t need another guilt trip. This should FEEL good! It’s easier to add “feel good habits" little by little than to jump into the deep end feet first, begin to struggle, then give up because you didn’t learn to swim.

  • Block out ME time in your calendar every SINGLE day.


Make an appointment with yourself for time spent doing something you love, something that fills you up every day and soon you will see that you are feeling more and more like the woman you want to be. The trick is, you have to put it on the calendar. Get your calendars out now and block out some “Me time.”

Next week we will be talking about the difference between being mind-FULL and mindful. Stay tuned.

Many Blessings, 

Belle  

Mom-MEcircle.com

P.S. YOU are the most influential person in your life.  When you say yes to yourself, you are also saying yes to being a better version of yourself.  DECIDE to say yes now!

Further Reading Suggestions

The Desire Map by Danielle Laport