love and belonging

Love and belonging is a NEED

This month's theme is "Love and Belonging."

Love may be a very splendid thing, but for us humans it also has an entirely non-romantic function: perpetuate the species.

Just imagine if the emotion of love were to disappear tomorrow with nothing equally powerful to take its place. The human race would eventually go extinct.

Proof that love and belonging are NEEDS and not just "wouldn't it be nice to haves":

  1. Children are born in a state of extreme dependence, unable to provide for themselves. They have no alternative but to rely on others to meet their needs.

  2. As mothers, we all know how substantial a newborn’s needs are. They require investments of every tangible and intangible resource that we can give them. (Sleep, food, holding- just to name a few!)

  3. Their period of dependence is significant. This means that they require our ongoing commitment of resources.

  4. Something must significantly motivate us mamas to make the substantial and long standing investment that ensures our children’s survival.

  5. This motivating factor is LOVE. We willingly give our kids everything that we have. Then we give them some more. We do this for the deceptively simple reason that we love them so much.

Have you ever seriously questioned WHY you take care of your kids?

As a society, we reserve our harshest scorn for those who neglect, abuse, or otherwise break the covenant to love and protect our young ones. But we also harshly judge a mom whose child is having a meltdown in the grocery store or who packed the same sandwich in their child’s lunch every day this week or who looses her sh*t at her toddler when she wakes the sleeping baby.

Rather than judge that woman- LOVE her. That is what she NEEDS- your love.

Here’s the rub… If our children have this need to be loved and cared for SO DO WE! That need for love doesn’t just drop away when we become moms.

Just like nourishing sleep is one of our basic needs (and also a need that is often side stepped when we become parents), one cannot survive without meeting our need of love and belonging.

Love and belonging is just as much a human need as food, water, sleep, shelter...

No matter what the specific need, there’s a minimum requirement necessary for our survival. Fail to meet that minimum and we will perish from starvation, thirst, exhaustion or whatever specific threat the basic need addresses.

So, I invite you to ask yourself, “Is my basic minimum requirement for love and belonging being met right now?”

Rate your need on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being very low and 1- being very high.

How has your need for love and belonging changed since you became a mom?

Let’s continue this conversation over in our Facebook group and let us know your strategy for getting your need for love and belonging met.