Somehow you change and somehow you’re still the same.
When I was pregnant and then a new mom, everyone told me that my life would never be the same. When I heard it, I felt so much resistance! On the other hand I kept hearing: „You’ll be you, just with a baby.” Well, both of them were true in my case. At least some of it was true. My life did change and I’ve changed but then, I didn’t.
My baby is 10 months old now. I’ve learned how to take care of him, how to feed him, how to play with him and how to love him. It was all a process. New skills. New person. New relationship to build. Of course, I loved him from day one, but as with any relationship in my case, it took time to get to know each other, find out what we do like and what we don’t like. It took time to build connection.
What has changed? Our family is now a group of 3, not of 2. We changed the way we spend our time. I take it slow. Slow is good for now. I give myself time to made a choice. And when I decide, then I take action. Most of my time is dedicated to my baby. I can focus so much better. I work less and get my job done faster. I’m so much better with boundaries and focus. I can focus like a pro.
What hasn’t change? I’m still me. Just in a new phase of my life. I’m still Kat, a person who enjoys deep conversations about life, reading books, watching movies, eating good food and cuddling with my hubby. I’m still me, loving shopping, beautiful things and decluttered space. I’m still me, chatting with friends about spirituality, femininity and newest shade of lipgloss or clothes collections.
So some new things have been introduced into my life. I’ve let go of some. And that’s okay. It’s another chapter, in which I play one more role - a role of a mom.
What do I really want NOW?
This journey to motherhood was not an easy one for me. I work as a Life Coach and I wanted to be prepared for becoming a mom. And I truly believed it is possible ;) So I’ve read books, talked to friends, I journaled like crazy, meditated, and still, when they brought me my little boy, my first thought was: „So what should I do with him now?” They didn’t include the manual.
I’ve tried plans, no plans, schedules, no schedules, tips and tricks, going with the flow, you name it, I’ve tried it. And still I felt really lost. I wanted to enjoy motherhood but many times I felt too tired. I wanted to come back to coaching because I love what I do, yet all I could think of was sleep. Not a good place to be in. Of course I compared myself to others! To my fellow mom-preneurs who took only 3 months of maternity leave and came back to their businesses. But it wasn’t my path. I needed much more time.
So I’ve decided to do what I do best. I coached myself out of this sad space. I sat down with my journal (one of many) and I’ve asked myself: „What do I really want NOW?”
Not what I think I should want or what other women want as moms and entrepreneurs. Without comparison, just me. What do I really want from life at this point? In this stage of my life? And the answers begun to flow.
I wanted to spend time with my baby and enjoy it. I wanted to be outside. I wanted to have some alone time. I wanted to have some just-us-time with my hubby. I wanted to simplify my life (goodbye old clothes, books and all the clutter). I wanted to give myself a break. And come back to coaching only after I felt more rested and really ready. And I gave myself time until my baby was 9 months old. I had some clients up to this point, but it was only 1 or 2 people at the time.
When I felt the moment was right, I started to invite more people to work with me. And guess what? It feels awesome.
I wanted to be inspired. So I started to listen to podcasts and recordings during my daily walks with my baby. It boosted my mood tremendously.
I wanted to look gorgeous in my new body. So I donated 90% of my clothes and bought new ones - only those who scream at me „wear me!” every time I look at them :)
I wanted for my business to feel exciting. So I’ve tapped into my spiritual guidance for fun clues what to do next.
I wanted to have some time for myself. So I hired a nanny.
All of this from one simple question: what do I really want now? And allowing myself to want what I want and ditching the idea of what I should want.
Bring your power back
All of this has helped me to feel really empowered. You also can feel this way. I know as moms, we literally think we don’t have any time. And self-reflection is a luxury. In my opinion it’s a necessity.
Otherwise, we can’t change what we don’t like because we don’t know what feels off in the first place.
So, please pause for 5 minutes and ask yourself:
- What would be so awesome to do today?
- Wouldn’t it be nice if…?
- What do I really want now?
- What kind of support I’d like to have?
And then little by little, step by step, start to make it happen.
In my case it all started with a long cry on my husband’s shoulder that I’m exhausted and miserable and please do something. Of course, not productive at all :) But has worked for 5 minutes :) I knew he couldn’t do anything because it was my inner job. But you know, it was a start, so I’m not judging my-3-months-ago-self. I knew something was off. I knew I needed more insights. So when my baby was napping, I started journaling. Then I made a plan. Then I hired a nanny. And little by little I got my power back.
So, my dear, fellow mama - what do you really want right now?
BIO: Katarzyna Morzewska is a Mentor Masterclass-certified Life Coach who helps women change their lives by getting clear about what they really want. Through her signature process she helps you make big life choices with ease, feel whole and empowered NOW without waiting for having it all figured out. Say goodbye to confusion. She opens people up to possibilities. Find out more at www.katarzynamorzewska.com