Welcome to week 1 of the love your life challenge. I’m so excited to get started.
In my work with mamas, both in groups and individually, I’ve been astonished that so many of them don’t really know how they want to feel. They think they know what things or experiences would make them happy, but they aren’t totally certain about exactly what the feeling they desire is.
In her book, The Desire Map, Danielle Laporte talks about uncovering your “core desired feelings.” By defining your core desired feelings (CDFs), you can create a map for success. You can learn how to shift your entire life by allowing your inspiration to come from within rather than from an external source.
To access your own CDF ask yourself these questions:
How do you want to feel in the deepest part of your being?
What feelings make you feel more aligned with your true self?
What feelings make you come alive?
I discovered The Desire Map several years ago and devoured it. In future posts I will go into greater depth what my personal "CDFs are.” For now, let’s focus on YOU.
In my coaching practice I come across so many moms who lack direction and focus so I invite them to tap into their own hearts, where their desires reside and can give them guidance and reassurance of their path.
Our core desired feelings are unique to the season of life that we are in so it is important to pin them down (in writing preferably) for our current season so that we can remind ourselves of how we want to feel. They can become our guide posts that lead us toward our true selves.
So, let’s dive right in and talk about making time for actions that are inspired by core desired feelings... This challenge is all about doing the things you need to do in order to feel the way you want to feel so you can be the woman you want to be. This week I want to challenge you to become the curator of your own life. Together, we are going to cultivate lives that feel full and spacious, peaceful and vivacious, with direction and yet grounded in the present moment. Are you ready?! Ok, grab your journal or print out this workbook page.
How do you want to feel within the category of...
1. livelihood and lifestyle?
2. body and wellness?
3. creativity and learning?
4. relationships and society?
5. essence and spirituality?
If you need some ideas you can head to Danielle, Laporte’s core desired feeling library: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/cdf/
After you have answered these questions, go back and consider ways you can make these CDFs more of a reality. There are three concrete ways to do this:
1. With the way your move your body. (How can you sit/stand/walk or position you body in a way that adds you core desired feeling to your current state of mind?)
2. With what you focus on. (What can you focus on more/less to bring about your core desired feeling?)
3. The words you say out loud and to yourself. (What do you need to tell yourself and affirm in the way and what you say to others that will lead to your core desired feelings?)
Once you have uncovered your core desired feelings and come up with quick ways to access those feelings, list action items you can do that will maintain the feelings or keep you coming back for more. For example, under body and wellness my core desired feeling is “strong.” To feel strong I can stand up straight, with my shoulders relaxed. There is a slight tension in my muscles. I focus on my what I know I am good at and keep those things at the forefront of my mind. And I tell myself that I am capable of taking on what is in front of me. I also speak to others from a place of strength and confidence in my own abilities. My action item that I can do to maintain this feeling of strength is to create a morning routine that includes meditation and exercise. Even though getting up an hour early feels overwhelming, if I remind myself how good I will feel after I am more likely to do it. And now, as soon as I wake up in the morning I can quickly access that strength using my body, my focus, and my words.
So, if you are on board for the "love your life challenge" here are a few commitments I would like to invite you to make to YOURSELF!...
Week 1: Commitments
- How much time can you commit to ACTIONS that lead to your CDF this week?
Look at how much time you can realistically commit to doing the things that make you FEEL the way you want to feel. If it’s just 30 minutes a day, that’s amazing! I know that you have an already very full life. When we mindfully focus our time on high-level tasks we get high-level results (both at home and at work.)
And if you are able to do more than 30 minutes on a high level task that’s great too. Please, don’t over extend yourself though. We already hold ourselves to such high standards and we don’t need another guilt trip. This should FEEL good! It’s easier to add “feel good habits" little by little than to jump into the deep end feet first, begin to struggle, then give up because you didn’t learn to swim.
- Block out ME time in your calendar every SINGLE day.
Make an appointment with yourself for time spent doing something you love, something that fills you up every day and soon you will see that you are feeling more and more like the woman you want to be. The trick is, you have to put it on the calendar. Get your calendars out now and block out some “Me time.”
Next week we will be talking about the difference between being mind-FULL and mindful. Stay tuned.
P.S. YOU are the most influential person in your life. When you say yes to yourself, you are also saying yes to being a better version of yourself. DECIDE to say yes now!
Further Reading Suggestions
The Desire Map by Danielle Laport