Mom-ME Circle

A Mother's Empowered Community

I CAN!

Dearest Mom-MEs,

As we approach the New Year I want to introduce the idea of CANuary with you. This is a method that I have developed and used myself with great success and am really excited to share it with you. During the month of January, I invite you to join me in a challenge where I will help you get clarity on your true desires and how to manifest them. Each day of January I will be offering a challenge (to see them all at a glance you can get the calendar here.)

Do you believe in miracles? I do! But I also believe that the precursor to a miracle is a combination of clarity and gratitude. 

I use the ICAN Method on all sorts of things and it’s very empowering to know that I now have this tool to create everyday miracles in my life. I like to offer this tool at the beginning of the year because it sets the year off to a great start in a very Feminine way. Rather than setting New Years Resolutions or goals, the ICAN method asks you to set intentions based on how you want to FEEL. 

So what is the first desire you want to use this method on? 

Do you believe that you can have it, do it or be it?

_Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country._.png

CLARITY on how you want to feel:

If you are having trouble coming up with something, think about what you have been complaining about lately. Maybe it’s, “I’m tired of not making getting along with my partner,” then obviously you want to focus on reconnection. You want to focus on ways you can manifest the relationship that you DO want. If you feel stuck, think of what you have been complaining about. That is a great place to start!

There is no right or wrong thing to desire. Your desires all start with something you want (or don’t want.) Then, they turn into an intention. An intention is so much stronger than a want. Think about a garden. Some gardens contain weeds or plants that we no longer want. To get rid of the weeds we need to get our hands dirty and pull them up. Often the weeks grow back though so we need to repeat the process. Also, we need to think about what we INTEND to grow in our garden. Some people’s weeds are another person’s medicine. It’s all relative. 

As you start to consider what you desire, and as you imagine having it, think about whether your thoughts are positive or negative. For example, if you think, “I want to buy a house,” but the thought comes up, “but I can’t afford a house.” Let that thought be without judgment. For now, just take note of it. In fact, welcome it. All thoughts are welcomed in the beginning. Breath as you become aware of your thought patterns. 

Now, imagine that you already have the house that you desire. Picture it as if it stands before you. You can even decorate it the way you want. Consider what it looks, smells, and sounds like to be inside this house.  See yourself walking through your house. What does it FEEL like?

The feelings are very important because they are the end result. Now that you know what it feels like to be inside this house you can notice when you already feel that way in your current life. You will notice that, when you visualize your desires on a regular basis, you begin to live as though your desires were already a part of your reality. 

I’m challenging you to visualize your intentions on a regular basis, because when you do, you will begin to attract the thing you want into reality. It’s really that simple.

GRATITUDE:

The ICAN Method will certainly help you achieve more of your desires, but you are already quite abundant. You are already very successful. You are already doing far better than you imagine. One of the best ways I know of attracting more into your life is by being grateful for what you already have. I suggest you stop right now and make a list of 5 things that you are grateful for.

Remember, you get more of what you focus on. So, when you focus on gratitude you will get more of what you are grateful for. It’s just psychology 101 really. One place to start looking for things to be grateful for is your physical body. Find something that pleases you- maybe your eyes or hair. What do you love about your body? Then, look at your home. What do you love about the place you live? Maybe a comfy chair, or your TV, or the view out your window. Then, look at your family and friends and continue the process. You might also want to consider past experiences and call up some wonderful times in your life. Maybe something that made you laugh till your belly hurt. Other areas: work, travel and recreation, finances, children…) Be grateful for this moment even. Let these thoughts well up and really enjoy them. 

Go on, do it now:

Gratitude list.png

When I began my own gratitude practice I cured my postpartum depression, saved my marriage, and began living a life that felt immeasurably pleasurable. And it was SO easeful (notice that I didn't say "easy!") It did take effort and intention, but once I realized the keys of clarity and gratitude it actually didn't take much effort.

 All I did was stop (slow down), look around (become mindful of my surroundings), and ask myself, “What am I grateful for in this moment?” This gratitude begin to wash away all the negativity that had previously eroded my self-confidence and joy. My gratitude practice also made me realize that my “now” was actually a pretty cool place to be and I stopped wishing for a better future. Without even meaning to, I began to attract people, experiences, and things into my life that I thought were only possible in my dreams.

Now, if you have had a gratitude practice for a while and you still aren’t seeing results I’m going to ask you to become a detective. Because my hunch is that there is an unconscious “counter intention” as the culprit. We can’t just intend to stop biting our nails and then expect a life long habit of nibbling at our fingertips to end. I know this one well because it was my personal nemesis for as long as I can remember. While I deeply wanted to end my habit I also had a counter belief that was more powerful than my intention. Every year, for 15 years, it overrode my resolution. 

So how did I clear that belief? I became a detective. Overtime I noticed a regular thought pattern, “oh, let me just fix this one peeling nail, then I’ll stop biting,” or “what does it matter if I bite this one little nail,” or “I’m so nervous right now and biting my nails helps me stay calm.” When I heard those beliefs pop up I began to question them.

So what belief is standing in the way of you having what you desire? I want you to fish for evidence of your own belief by asking yourself, “Do I really believe that?” You have two ways of answering this question: 1) “No, I don’t believe that.” In which case, it’s probably not that triggering of a belief and I’m going to ask you to keep digging. Or 2) “Yes, I do believe that.” If this was your answer there is no need to berate yourself. Simply ask, “Why do I believe that?” 

What we are looking for is a foundational belief, that probably came from your parents or some other significant character in your early upbringing. My foundational belief related to my nail biting was, “Things have to be just so or I won’t be loved and accepted."

In my next post I will be sharing what each letter in the ICAN method stands for- It's an acronym. :) Until then...

What is your limiting belief?