Yesterday my hubs and I celebrated our 9 year wedding anniversary! I can hardly believe that we have been married THAT long, let alone that we have 2.3 kids and live in a house and have real jobs and are considered to be "grown-up." How did this happen?!
As I think back on our relationship, which began our senior year in college, I realize how much I have molded myself into whatever my husband seemed to require of me or need me to be. If he wanted a travel companion- I became that, if he wanted a stay at home mom for his kids- I became that, if he wanted a partner to go to fancy dinners with- I became that. This habit of becoming who he wanted me to be was much more about ME being a people pleaser than about him demanding I be something other than who I really am.
We met and married at such a young age that we really had/have some growing up to do. And so, as we go into our 10th year as a married couple I am going to do something a little unconventional... I am going to begin a love affair... with myself! I'm going to eat lunches where I want (preferably alone!), buy clothes for my tastes only, read books that please me (rather than ones that make me look smart or sophisticated. Whose watching anyway!?)
My intuition tells me that this will actually be very good for my marriage.
Here are some things I love about my beloved:
- He is abundantly creative in the kitchen
- He is deeply generous with gifts
- He is so funny he makes me pee in my pants on occasion- I blame the children for this
- He is an excellent night time father, gets up with the kids at night so I can sleep. And day time daddy too!!!
- He embraces his emotions (this is one of my favorite things about him!)
- He truly loves me, for me NOT for what I DO
- He is passionate about just about anything that interests him- wine, coffee, food, fashion...
- He is the most amazing lover
- He's pretty darn cute
- The most remarkable moments together are often ones spent quietly talking on the couch, still getting to know each other after all these years.
So, thank you dear husband for the past amazing decade plus of knowing you! I am the person I am today because you are the person you are. I love you soooo much. AND I love me too!
Please share in the comments below how your primary relationship has shaped you. I look forward to getting to know you better.