Do you ever just admit when you are crabby? This is a tough one for me. I often find myself answering the phone in a fake cheerful voice, "helllooo-ooo!" right after being cranky with my kids. Why do I do this? Why do I put on a happy face, grin and bear it, and smile when I feel like tearing someone's head off?! Am I really doing anyone any favors by stuffing my crankies?
Being crabby is REAL and it is HEALING. It can help us get closer to what's wrong, or what hurts.
The other day, I was on the phone with a fellow mama and I said, "I'm just crabby right now." She could already tell and it opened up a dialogue about how it's really healthy to feel our feelings, even the "ugly" ones and how we want to encourage our kids to feel all of their feelings (yes, even and especially the shitty ones) because it teaches them emotional intelligence.
Admitting to being crabby to our kids give us and them permission to be human, and can result in a fabulous, honest exchange.
I've also noticed that crabbiness dissolves with the right kid of attention. This attention can come from a partner, a therapist, ourselves or... Often, when I'm crabby, I can stop what I'm doing and gently touch my heart center saying to myself, "wow, you are really crabby. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. It's ok to be just as you are. I love you."
Remember to be crabby consciously! Moms are great at being crabby and can do much more celebrating about it.