The Power Of Gratitude!

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Here is a gratitude practice that I’m doing these days and it has made an incredible difference to my level of happiness. I hope it does the same for you…

Look at your life:

Who are you grateful for? List 10 people you know and write next to their names why you are grateful for them. Is your gratitude for something specific they have done, or simply for who they are? Describe their contribution to your life.

Contact these people:

Tell them what you wrote. Call them, write to them (email or snail mail style!), or better yet- invite them over for a cup of tea.

For 4 of these people:

do something that will make them truly grateful. Pick something that would be a big contribution to their lives. (I love little, delightful treats.)

Let me know how this makes you feel!

Remember, we have to do the things we need to do so we can feel the way we want to feel.

Silent Epidemic Taking Over Motherhood

There's a silent epidemic taking over parenthood! Do you know what it is?

We can be so excited in the process of becoming and being good parents and soon realize that the reality of it all falls short of our expectations. We may grow to resent the once idolized portrait of motherhood we painted in our imagination.

But, it's selfish to spend time on our own self-care when we have a child to tend to, right? WRONG! You have permission to live a life you love, and you can only show up for those we love after we show up for ourselves.

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Acceptance

This month’s theme is acceptance. It can be difficult to accept certain parts of our lives. We probably wish the messes, laundry, chores, and lack of sleep would change. What if I told you that acceptance will give you freedom?

Today, I’m sharing the parts of my life that I accept. Once I accepted my own reality, I’ve been able to take steps toward change and negotiate some aspects of daily life with my husband, my kids, and myself. Now, THAT is freedom.

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Know Your Values

We can’t go anywhere if we don’t already know where we are. When it comes to your values, imagine creating a map that says, “You are here.” This will help you remember what’s important to you and why.

So grab a journal (and maybe some tea!) and let’s go! This is going to have such an impact on you, your children, and your partner.

I’m going to share my value words with you. Feel free to use ones that create a spark inside of you and to add your own.

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GRACE

This blog is for you if 2018 kicked you in the booty. This is for you if (like me) need to have a good cry, but struggle to find the space in your life to let that happen.

Oh honey. What a year it's been!

As 2019 approaches this is my wish for you: Give yourself grace.
 

GRACE!
 

Grace for your heart that is tender and sore and sprained.

Grace for your body that is tired and aching.

Grace for your mama hands that have grasped and held and tended to so many loved ones and are in deep need for some holding of their own. 

Grace for when you are down and dirty in the dust of the arena.

Grace for when you wonder how long you need to keep fighting.

Grace while you are reeling, wondering just how many more punches will come your way. Surely this is the last? Surely THIS one must be the last?

Grace for the times that you are trying and struggling.

Grace when there is no end in sight.

Grace for the feelings of hopeless.

Grace, Grace, Grace.

My definition of Grace:

grace

  (grās)
n.
1. Self acknowledgment for how worthy of love you are, just as you are.
2. A characteristic or quality pleasing for its unabashed self-devotion.
3. A sense of "I am enough."
    a. A disposition to be generous or helpful with ourselves, to ourselves; goodwill towards the self.
    b. Mercy; clemency.
4. My daughter's first name :)
 

You are not alone. We are never alone. But I know you might feel lonely.

 

“Why be alone when we can be together babyYou can make my life worthwhileAnd I can make you start to smile” ― Mr. Big
 

You're Invited!

Join the most positive place on the internet... filled with other Empowered Mamas who want to create lives they love!

Invite your friends... the more the merrier!

We really are IN THIS TOGETHER!

My three fave gifts I'm giving this Holiday

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, Mama!


Are you ready for the Holidays?!

Today, I wanted to share with you my three favorite gifts that I'm giving this holiday... (Note: they are all handmade by my kids and me!)

1. Homemade hand soaps from Love, Pomegranate House via I Heart Naptime:

2. Wood bead necklace from Casa Lewis via Handmade Mood:

3. Mystery braid bracelet from A Pumpkin and a Princess:

So, if you are still on the fence about what to buy for someone you love, I hope you'll consider making them something instead.

What’s your favorite gift to give this season? Contact me and let me know. 

Here's to your Happy Holidays!

Who am I?

I just wanted to take a moment to really introduce myself to you in case you are new to Mom-ME Circle.

I am the mother of two beautiful, divine children who rock my world and still have the ability to take my breath away. I am perceptive, intuitive and mother with my whole heart. I have taught yoga to mothers and children for the past 10 years . Some days I can be found dancing with my family. Other days you will find me simply staring at them in awe.  

I STARTED MOM-ME CIRCLE OUT OF MY OWN NEED FOR COMMUNITY. I WASN’T EVEN QUITE SURE WHAT I WANTED IT TO BE, BUT I KNEW I NEEDED SOME SORT OF SUPPORT SYSTEM.

Fortunately for me, I found Lifeways, Mothering Arts and Mentor Masterclass. Each training gave me the confidence I needed to form a network of like minded (and not so like minded!) mamas and it wasn’t long before I was facilitating my own weekly circles.

Now, I am living my dream! I get to step into my empowerment and facilitate circles and do ONE on ONE coaching where we address the problems women face in their new role as "Mommy." I am surrounded by an incredible support system. I crave connection and those desires are now being fulfilled. I have a healthy attachment with my children, my husband, my community and most of all, myself. Life is so good! 

This wasn’t always the case. I used to feel lost, like I was searching for something just out of reach.  I was highly self judgmental and self love wasn’t even on my radar.  During my daughter's first year of life I was in a deep struggle with postpartum depression and I didn't feel like I had the life I wanted. Don’t get me wrong, during that time I had many awesome, crazy, amazing scary, sad and beautiful times, but on the inside there were a lot of feelings of unworthiness and  “not good enough”.  I felt very isolated in my role as mom and I didn't feel like I had anyone who could help or even cared.  So, I know what it feels like to NOT have a community. I never want anyone to feel that way.

I am someone who has been obsessed with inner growth, spirituality and understanding what life is all about for as long as I can remember. I have been a long time yoga and meditation practitioner and teacher (I started doing yoga with my mom and her friends when I was 15 and fell in love with it immediately).  I went to Pepperdine University where I studied psychology as a way to understand more about my own inner workings. Then I went to JFK University where I studied transpersonal Psychology.

YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART IS? THE HARDEST PARTS OF MY JOURNEY ARE MY GREATEST MEDICINE….. THERE ARE NO LIMITS TO WHERE I CAN EXPLORE, HOW FAR I CAN GO INSIDE MYSELF AND HOW THAT SHOWS UP IN MY LIFE. 

My desire to create this circle of women and create a safe space during coaching calls comes from my own personal desires and my years of working on my own personal growth in books, classes and workshops.  Self love, getting and staying in-tune with my body and mind, and feeling at home inside myself are the best damn feelings I know of.  It gets me so excited to think of a whole commUnity of empowered moms who feel this way too!  

When you join our circle or begin coaching with me you get access to everything I’ve learned about yoga, meditation,  manifesting and self care as I stumbled and spiraled along on my own path as well as working with my yoga students for years.    As we work together I’ll encourage you (we will encourage each other!) to feel into your beliefs about who you are and what you want for your life.  I will hold space for you and tenderly nudge you to step into new places of freedom and clarity so you can choose where you want to go! 

Ok, your turn to tell me who YOU are. You can find me here.

 

“You’ll never know who you are unless you shed who you pretend to be.” 

― Vironika Tugaleva

 

I can't wait to get to know you!

Social Connection

This month, our theme is Relationship and Belonging. Love and connection are two of our basic needs in life. In this season of togetherness full of parties and gatherings, let’s dive into what it means to connect with others.

We’re going to start with how we can connect with strangers. How can we connect with strangers that we might not even talk to? And why would we want to?! Watch the video to find out!

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Love and belonging is a NEED

This month's theme is "Love and Belonging."

Love may be a very splendid thing, but for us humans it also has an entirely non-romantic function: perpetuate the species.

Just imagine if the emotion of love were to disappear tomorrow with nothing equally powerful to take its place. The human race would eventually go extinct.

Proof that love and belonging are NEEDS and not just "wouldn't it be nice to haves":

  1. Children are born in a state of extreme dependence, unable to provide for themselves. They have no alternative but to rely on others to meet their needs.

  2. As mothers, we all know how substantial a newborn’s needs are. They require investments of every tangible and intangible resource that we can give them. (Sleep, food, holding- just to name a few!)

  3. Their period of dependence is significant. This means that they require our ongoing commitment of resources.

  4. Something must significantly motivate us mamas to make the substantial and long standing investment that ensures our children’s survival.

  5. This motivating factor is LOVE. We willingly give our kids everything that we have. Then we give them some more. We do this for the deceptively simple reason that we love them so much.

Have you ever seriously questioned WHY you take care of your kids?

As a society, we reserve our harshest scorn for those who neglect, abuse, or otherwise break the covenant to love and protect our young ones. But we also harshly judge a mom whose child is having a meltdown in the grocery store or who packed the same sandwich in their child’s lunch every day this week or who looses her sh*t at her toddler when she wakes the sleeping baby.

Rather than judge that woman- LOVE her. That is what she NEEDS- your love.

Here’s the rub… If our children have this need to be loved and cared for SO DO WE! That need for love doesn’t just drop away when we become moms.

Just like nourishing sleep is one of our basic needs (and also a need that is often side stepped when we become parents), one cannot survive without meeting our need of love and belonging.

Love and belonging is just as much a human need as food, water, sleep, shelter...

No matter what the specific need, there’s a minimum requirement necessary for our survival. Fail to meet that minimum and we will perish from starvation, thirst, exhaustion or whatever specific threat the basic need addresses.

So, I invite you to ask yourself, “Is my basic minimum requirement for love and belonging being met right now?”

Rate your need on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being very low and 1- being very high.

How has your need for love and belonging changed since you became a mom?

Let’s continue this conversation over in our Facebook group and let us know your strategy for getting your need for love and belonging met.

Break the Rules

Often, what begins as unpopular becomes a trend. I am on a mission to make prioritizing our own needs and MUST on our todo lists.

Personally, I rebel against the norm when it comes to to mommy guilt. Perhaps this is because I witnessed the struggles my own mom (and many others) had with guilt and I’m not willing to put that on myself or my kids.

While I admire many of the parenting choices that my mom made I wish she hadn’t been such a martyr when it came to taking care of us kids.

When I tell my friends and clients that I take regular time away from my children guilt free they often look at me like I have three heads, shocked that I could do such a thing AND consider myself a good mom, which I do!

What each must seek in {her} life never was on land or sea. It is something out of {her} own unique potentiality for experience, something that has never been and never could have been experienced by someone else.

-Joseph Campell

I like to think of myself as a trendsetter. My need to be liked by MYSELF far outweighs my need to be liked by others. All of our great thinkers were considered nuts before the scales tipped in their direction, even at the risk of loosing it all. So, today, I urge you to think from a place of self-invention, even if it’s just for the next 24 hours.

Who would you be if it didn’t matter to you what anyone else thought?

One way to find out is by taking part in the Happy Mama, Happy Holidays Challenge, which begins Dec 1st. During the challenge you will learn proven strategies for creating a life and holiday in which you thrive as a mom, a partner, and a self.

I hope you’ll join us!

How can I have more confidence as a Mom?

Embrace the following statement… You don’t have to be a PERFECT mother to be a confident mother. Building confidence as a mother requires time, so be kind to yourself as build your confidence.

In this video, I discuss how you can get past societal barriers to reach confidence and how much time you should dedicate to a parenting strategy before switching things up.

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Boundaries

Once you have strong personal boundaries, they become more porous, and love and caring flow more easily between you and others.

Sophie, a professional woman and mother to 3 children under 6 and a member of my weekly Mothering Circle, repeatedly feels taken advantage of. After listening to her describe a painful episode in which a friend had acted inappropriately during a visit, I told her, “you need to work on improving your emotional boundaries.” She was surprised by my comment. “But the teachings of Buddha (our topic that week) say we aren’t separate” Sophie said. “So why would I need boundaries? What am I protecting? Isn’t the whole idea to not be attached to the needs of my ego?”

This prompted Rachel, another mom in our circle, to reveal that she and her ex-husband who share custody of their child were working on boundary issues with a counselor. “We never worked this out while we were married,” he said. “We thought being in love meant you weren’t supposed to have boundaries.” After class, these mothers shared stories about boundaries being violated— sometimes unknowingly.

In my observation from leading mothering circles for the last few years, poorly defined or inappropriate boundaries are the cause of much suffering—and that suffering is compounded for some people by confusion regarding the teachings of oneness, selflessness, and non- separateness. If you’re struggling with these questions, you’re in good company. After all, you’re part of a culture that isn’t always clear about boundaries. Moreover, your sense of them changes dramatically as you mature and your inner life deepens.

Even if you’ve done a lot of inner work, you may still allow others to violate your boundaries or you may violate those of others. You may know people who chronically disrupt boundaries, but have never realized it or deny it. You may even be enabling their behavior. Fortunately, you can dramatically improve in this area through conscious practice, honesty, and patience.

Beware, though, of underestimating the challenge of setting and maintaining healthy limits. Boundary issues are more complex than just inappropriate language or action, and their complexities are revealed only after you have some clarity. Mastering the issue of boundaries does not happen all at once; it’s a gradual process that eventually leads to a more authentic and powerful you.

EVOLVING BOUNDARIES

Interestingly, the language of personal boundaries mirrors that of property rights. The word “boundary” is used to define a parcel of land that can be bought, sold, insured, or taxed. Likewise, when used to describe emotional space, it most commonly defines the self; which has unique rights that others should respect. Abuse counselor Pia Mellody, in her book Facing Codependence (Harper San Francisco, 2003), refers to boundaries as “symbolic force fields” that allow you to have a sense of self.

Today we take for granted the right to have our physical body remain inviolate, but throughout much of history many people—children, women, prisoners, serfs, slaves — did not enjoy that right because they “belonged” to a parent, spouse, or ruler who “owned” certain access rights to their bodies. We now view physical and even some emotional boundaries as part of a person’s innate dignity and sanctity. This “human right” is considered more intrinsic than a constitutional right. But this view has only recently come into existence (and not all cultures share it), and it continues to evolve.

It can take years for what may seem like an obvious personal boundary to be accepted as a civil right. For example, only recently has unwelcome touch by a boss or coworker been defined as illegal sexual harassment. It’s still being debated whether the air around your body is protected and, if so, if you have the right to be protected from smoke. And now there’s a debate about public cell phone use being an intrusion on our individual and collective space—a boundary that involves the right to peace and quiet.

Physical boundaries represent the right to be free from intrusion by others, and only when they are fully respected can emotional boundaries be dealt with. Violations of this physical right include torture of prisoners of war and criminals, rape, child abuse, and physical assault. In each instance there is also an undeniable emotional violation, which underscores the fact that emotional boundaries are as tangible as—and are fundamentally linked to—physical ones. Honoring physical boundaries is essential. Otherwise justifying mistreatment of someone’s body implies that such boundaries are conditional, not innate. This slippery slope leads to abuse by all sorts of violators, including police, governments, corporations, and those acting in the name of God. Eventually you and those you love will be affected. Any time our culture is complacent about such violations, all our personal boundary rights are under threat.

If you are ready to create some boundaries in your life right now I invite you to sign up for the Happy Mama, Happy Holidays challenge where we will be diving deep into this topic (and more!) It begins December 1st.

How do I prioritize my own needs?

As mothers, we’re constantly aware of the needs and well-being of our children. It can be easy to prioritize their needs above our own. However, YOUR needs and well-being matter too!

We cannot serve others, even our children, from an empty cup. We deserve to get our needs met and deserve to prioritize the values we hold dear to us.

In this video, I talk about how you need to have insight to what feelings you desire so you can make them a priority.

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How Can I Be More Assertive?

Hi there mamas! For the rest of the month, I’m taking part in Perspectives Panel, an opportunity for viewers to understand and learn the value of life coaching. I will be answering a series of questions on their channel each week along with some other amazing life coaches. You can follow along by subscribing to their channel: Perspectives Panel

Being assertive can be difficult when it involves standing up to loved ones. There are some very useful and simple tips to make sure that you're asserting yourself in a calmly so your needs aren't pushed aside.

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