Get help going where you want to go!

Brandon and I spent this past weekend reviewing what is working and not working in our lives right now.

During this "seasonal review" (we try to do this once a quarter), we both had the same take away: we did too much.

We have both been feeling tired and a little burned out. Parenting two little people occasionally unravels me to a degree I never expect, and I am ready for this to feel easier. I'm ready to up my resources so that I can better care for my kids, care for myself, and care for our marriage. This includes upping my resources to support my business.

Despite my early conditioning to be a lone warrior, I am overcoming my limiting beliefs that something is wrong with me because I can't do it all by myself.

And I've gotta tell you, it is SUCH a relief.

Noting how well asking for help and receiving it feels, I am inviting you to do the same.

So we can up our external resources by hiring a house cleaner, or getting a babysitter so we can go out on a date with our parter. But we can also ask our friends and family for help. The more specific we are with them about the type of help we desire, the more likely we are do get it.

Another way I receive help is by planning ahead and knowing what my needs will be based on what my needs have been in the past.

I used to follow other people’s plans for what their ideal week would look like. I read blogs on time management systems and books, too. I always seemed to be chasing a system but never really sticking to it and then telling myself I was wrong or bad for what I saw as a lack of discipline.

Then I realized that I wasn’t following other people’s plans for managing time because they were other people’s plans. My needs and desires are uniquely mine and so my plan will look different from others in the same way that the help I need will be different from the help you need.

Rather than continuing to get sucked into the crummy notion that someone else knows how I should live my life better than I do, I decided to design my own optimal week so I can get where I want to go instead of where someone else wants to go.

Here’s what I did:

1. I got out a big piece of post-it paper. (Writing things big makes them feel important. Plus I like a visual reminder to keep on the wall of my workspace.)

2. I got conscious about the things that I really want to do each week and what type of help I need so I can do them.

3. I batched these things.

4. I blocked out time for them in the calendar (which I shared with Brandon if appropriate.)

I have 2 dedicated days per week for doing work in my business and 4 days for being super hands on mom. 1 day is totally unplanned to leave some white space in out week. Business is often done a little bit here and there on the other days (when kids are in school and after they go to bed usually), but I know for sure the days that are dedicated to creating my dream of empowering moms everywhere to live lives they love WILL HAPPEN because those are the days I know I have childcare (HELP.)

Since I’ve implemented this optimal week schedule I’ve already noticed my days feel more joyful and on purpose.

My invitation to you:

Identifying your priorities does not guarantee that they’ll get your attention. You’ve got to remain ever vigilant to ensure that the essential gets the presence it’s due and that you receive the support you need to get it done.

Asking for and receiving help is a practice. This is not a one and done. You will bob and weave and ebb and flow.

And just because you set yourself up with on going support doesn’t mean each week will be the same, nor should it! Our bodies and the needs of our family are in constant motion, always changing. Expecting ourselves to produce and operate the same every week is like expecting the leaves to stay on the trees all year long. We’re just not designed that way.

Some weeks I get way more done even though I don't have much help. Some weeks I’m super distracted on the days I have childcare. During a period when I'm not feeling well I get extra childcare, and when I’m in a really good place emotionally and I feel like picking up Ben early from school, I do.

An optimal week doesn’t have to be rigid. I listen to my body and my energy levels on any given day to inform my plans. But having the structure to dance within has helped make sure what I say matters to me gets the energy and time devoted to it that something that matters truly deserves.

As you design what optimal week (and the help it requires) looks like for you, remember:

You are so very worthy of your own love and devotion! Asking for help is an act of self-love.

OVER TO YOU:

What does your optimal week look like? And what type of help are you committed to asking for? Was this exercise helpful for you? What did you learn or notice? I’d love to hear from you in the Mother's Empowerment Facebook group!

Q&A: Being More Positive and Finding a Listening Partner

Today, I’m answering such a powerful question from a mama in the Mother’s Empowerment Circle that I truly believe every mama can relate to.

“For this week, my intentions will be to be more positive instead of complaining at the kids to get chores and homework done. I’d like to engage in a more positive way, cultivating a more positive response from the kids. I feel like much of our time together is complaining about what they should be doing, which in turn makes that seem like our interactions are negative which is not what I want. But I still want homework done and shoes put away, stuff like that. Do you have any suggestions on how to be positive and still get the kids’ chores done?”

 Wow… let that sink in. Can you relate with this question?

To be more positive, we have to understand that the only person we can control is ourselves. There are some things about children that are inherently true; and if they are true about them, they are true about us too.

In this video, I share those things with you so you can shift your mindset to be more positive.

I also talk about what a “listening partner” is and the importance of finding one. :-)

Enjoy and take care mama. <3

Discovering Your Inner Mommy Manual

Today’s video starts with a fun update about a project I’ve been dreaming of that’s finally coming true. I’m so excited to share it with you!!

Have you ever been so overwhelmed by the different voices telling you what to do that it makes you wonder if you’re doing anything right? How do we know which ones to listen to? How do we know if we’re doing the right thing!?

There’s times that even I wished there was a secret “Mommy Manual” that told me exactly what to do. The truth is that we are our own “Mommy Manuals.” We create the map that gets us where we want to go on this journey of motherhood.

Turning Anxiety into Security

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I don’t know about you, but it’s raining here in Oakland, at least when I recorded this video. It’s finally starting to feel like Spring and we’re halfway through it!

What does the emotion of overwhelm really mean for us? It probably means we are too busy and not grounding ourselves to be successful each day.

I want to talk about how life is not always bright and spunky, kind of like this rain. It can be difficult and overwhelming, AND it’s ok! There is a way to ground ourselves so that our anxiety doesn’t add to that overwhelming feeling, and I’m here to talk you through it.

Also, if you’re in the Oakland area, I invite you to join me for a special in-person workshop at Main Street Mamas on May 16. You can register here!


Time Management Part 1 - Mom-ME Moment Rewind!

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Today, we’re going back in time again, because I’m using the same tools I gave to you when it comes to time management. As I’m preparing for a HUGE workshop i’m giving on May 16, I’m focusing on that and taking advantage of my own advice once again.

My four Ds for time management really help take the guess work out of prioritizing, but some of them are easier to consider than others. Which of these four Ds do you struggle with the most?

Manifesting vs. Wombifesting

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What is wombifesting!? You’ve probably heard of manifesting.

Manifesting can have an aggressive and masculine quality to it, and that’s where wombifesting offers another softer side on making your dreams a reality.

Think of a flower, spider, our wombs…. each of these creates something that waits to receive what it wants. You’ll understand more after watching the video. I promise

In this Mom-ME Moment, I'll talk more about how wombifesting can get you just as many results as manifesting, and how it might be more aligned with your life as a woman.

To learn more and schedule a Dreamcatcher Session with Isabelle, visit isabellebridges.com/apply.

Join Mother’s empowerment circle on Facebook!

Follow me on Instagram: @isabellebridgesboesch

Graphics and video edited by Lauren Stewart
Instagram: @carecoachlauren
Contact: Carecoachlauren@gmail.com

Long Term Stress Management

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We are ALL stressed out. Motherhood is stressful. Being a Mom, woman, wife, caretaker – all those things cause stress

How do we combat that stress? How do we notice it? How can our emotions let us know we are experiencing stress? How can we calm ourselves before it’s “too much?”

It can be difficult to learn how to notice how our body, minds, and emotions react to stress. Knowing how to release that stress takes practice. So let’s practice!

Also, I want to hear what YOUR stress management techniques are! And ones that don’t work for you! Leave a comment below!

To learn more and schedule a Dreamcatcher Session with Isabelle, visit: http://www.mom-mecircle.com/contact.

Join Mom-ME Circle on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/momMEcircle/

Follow me on Instagram: @isabellebridgesboesch

Graphics and video edited by Lauren Stewart
Contact: carecoachlauren@gmail.com
Instagram: @carecoachlauren

Goal Setting

What is goal setting? Why should we set goals? What kinds of goals should I even set!?

All of these questions are great to understand the true importance of having goals to work towards. It’s also essential to know how to make goals that you are capable of accomplishing. Today, I’m sharing my 5 steps that make goal setting easy and simple.

The first thing you’ll do is actually write down your goals. Writing down your goal makes it real! It’s not just a thought anymore; it’s on paper! There’s more to this step, so enjoy this video and share what goals you are setting for yourself in the comments below.

If you want to talk through your goals, schedule a free 30-minute Dreamcatcher session at http://www.mom-mecircle.com/contact.

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The Power Of Gratitude!

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Here is a gratitude practice that I’m doing these days and it has made an incredible difference to my level of happiness. I hope it does the same for you…

Look at your life:

Who are you grateful for? List 10 people you know and write next to their names why you are grateful for them. Is your gratitude for something specific they have done, or simply for who they are? Describe their contribution to your life.

Contact these people:

Tell them what you wrote. Call them, write to them (email or snail mail style!), or better yet- invite them over for a cup of tea.

For 4 of these people:

do something that will make them truly grateful. Pick something that would be a big contribution to their lives. (I love little, delightful treats.)

Let me know how this makes you feel!

Remember, we have to do the things we need to do so we can feel the way we want to feel.

Silent Epidemic Taking Over Motherhood

There's a silent epidemic taking over parenthood! Do you know what it is?

We can be so excited in the process of becoming and being good parents and soon realize that the reality of it all falls short of our expectations. We may grow to resent the once idolized portrait of motherhood we painted in our imagination.

But, it's selfish to spend time on our own self-care when we have a child to tend to, right? WRONG! You have permission to live a life you love, and you can only show up for those we love after we show up for ourselves.

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Acceptance

This month’s theme is acceptance. It can be difficult to accept certain parts of our lives. We probably wish the messes, laundry, chores, and lack of sleep would change. What if I told you that acceptance will give you freedom?

Today, I’m sharing the parts of my life that I accept. Once I accepted my own reality, I’ve been able to take steps toward change and negotiate some aspects of daily life with my husband, my kids, and myself. Now, THAT is freedom.

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Know Your Values

We can’t go anywhere if we don’t already know where we are. When it comes to your values, imagine creating a map that says, “You are here.” This will help you remember what’s important to you and why.

So grab a journal (and maybe some tea!) and let’s go! This is going to have such an impact on you, your children, and your partner.

I’m going to share my value words with you. Feel free to use ones that create a spark inside of you and to add your own.

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